I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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