lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
