So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
