I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
