I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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