Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
