so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
