it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
