She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
