im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
