first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
