I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
