never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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