I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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