What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
as a side note pls kill me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
