You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
