You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
