should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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