He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize
