i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
