so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
