glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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