508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
