And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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