P.S. I can't hear my feet
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize