you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
