I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We have so much sex to catch up on
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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