Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
