Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
