Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i dont even know how to be here
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize