i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
