so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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