how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
