If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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