dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
