I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
