so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize