Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
