don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
