she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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