youre lurking in front of me
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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