id be glad to
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
