Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
