u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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