I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
