Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
