me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's not a walk of shame if you run
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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