idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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