We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
