Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
