Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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