Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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