what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
