he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
