I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
