Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Shame - the story of my life.
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