Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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