In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
