KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
