Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
