is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
