she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
