Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
