What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize