It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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