the condom got lost in my hair
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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