i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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