he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
