Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
