Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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